Long time since i wrote anything.

Yes, it has been a long time since i wrote anything, there has been so much  that has happened in the past 2 years, i really don’t know where to start.

First of all i work so many different jobs ,i work part time for my brother in-law, i also clean 2 houses every second weekend, i clean 3 other peoples yards ever second week, i also take care of 2 elderly lady 3 days in the month,  i don’t know if I’m Arthur or Martha , lol  and still i can not get any where . I have even gone and got a business name, started sewing again as a seamstress and yes a make a few bucks here and there but not enough to make ends meet.

Yes time for me to spill the beans, i thought  my life would change around once all the kids have moved out and now they have  families of their own, i honestly thought it would change for the better, but it hasn’t, i feel as though no matter what i do i can never get a head .

Now about the loose the house, cause the man i thought was hard worker  has shown his true colours, after 14 years of marriage all he wants to do quit every job he gets cause it’s too hard , don’t get me wrong  i do love him and always will, but it is disappointing.

Every penny  that i can save was going to a new roof, well that’s what i thought, My uncle use to tell me ” you know what thought did? he stuck a feather in the ground and thought he’d grow a rooster, but instead he grew a hair). He was right, i should never assume or think that my plans would come together unless your alone.

Since my husband’s mother had passed 3 years ago, in her will she left us the house and the property, i have tried everything to keep this as our home , it’s been 2 years and still we are fighting to keep the house, i’m at the point of just giving up, walking away, and all because they are not happy with the insurance company giving us a roof exemption until we can raise enough money to buy a new roof. Every tells us get a loan , get another job,  get a home modification, lol that only works for people who have steady jobs,  real income. To make matter worse my husband just doesn’t seem to really care, all he asks is how much do we have? can we afford this? can we afford that? I raise 5 kids on my own for many years and even my kids never did this.

I feel trapped, punished, maybe it’s just me, maybe it’s just me being greedy that i want to keep a roof over my head, maybe i’m a scrooge, i don’t know, maybe i’m being too picky or loo lazy. who the hell knows. Maybe i should be a junkie or a crack head and then get a head in life,  they always seem to have more money then me and better clothes , good grief i haven’t even bought any clothes in the past 4 years, still wearing the same clothing and shoes, and i only have 5 pairs os shoes,  but then again i do take care of any thing i have, wow something for me to really ponder about now.

Well it’s now 10.30pm and i have to finish altering some clothes, i won’t get paid if i don’t get the job don’t, and piece work don’t pay shit these days, but i have to take what i can get.

Well that’s my little rant after all these years, maybe i won’t take as long to vent my crap.

I always think that there are people out there that are worse off than me and now  i may become one of them.

Shit happens Crap occurs